And it swings…

There are days that I feel like an absolute super-hero and the next moment… Bam! I feel talentless and insignificant.

It gets to me… like I’ve mentioned a few entries earlier – a self-inflicted one. So lately… instead of talking out loud on how I feel, an act which I believe annoys the hell out of people, I ‘mind-slap’ myself and get back to work.

You see.. when we’re younger, we need attention from people to assure our status. However, as age catches up with us, we need to acquire that sense of security instead of having people pacifying us all the time.  Besides, words become cheap when it’s repetitive. Those unending praises will turn into mere flattery.

So Jan… wake up and stop thinking those silly thoughts! My identity is not built on mere flattery.

Uncertain but Happy

Well… For a person who likes to plan way ahead, this uncertainty is definitely new for me. Meanwhile, I am happy in the midst of finding the right opportunity.

Yes.. finding and not waiting. Things may not be ideal but I want to take a step towards that goal in my heart.

Patience has a whole new meaning. It’s not just about waiting for buses or people but knowing that endurance produces good work.

Wisdom and boldness needed to make the right decision.

Remember… beyond what I can imagine.

Fellow Dragons, it’s our year!

Even when it means I am turning 24 this year.

Being brought up in a Chinese family with taoist and buddhist influence, I am fully aware of how Dragon is considered the mightiest in the Chinese Zodiac.

When I was young, I couldn’t help but to observe the portrayal of dragons in the temples or chinese cartoons. I love the mysterious allure that it carries and the strength and courage that it possesses. I also love how instinctive the dragons are.

And of course, as a christian, I don’t believe in astrology. But growing up in a chinese-dominant culture, it sure feels good to be identified with such a powerful animal.

I would say those born in the year of Dragon understand the intensity of competition during national examinations and when promoting to secondary and tertiary education. We were baptized in fire man..

So to fellow dragons who survived…

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

It’s our year!! And we’ll continue to soar beyond what we can imagine.

Life’s Good

2012 has been great so far!

Didn’t expect this month to be that fruitful… I guess a month’s break is good for the heart.

2012 definitely feels like the best year yet!

 

And I thought such traffic only happens in L.A

I spent probably 50% of the journey stagnating inside my cab. I love Singapore but roadworks seem endless for the past years.. And normally I wouldn’t complain that much till all the taxi companies decide to raise their cab fare.

I honestly thought I would never encounter disgusting infuriating frustrating traffic jam after L.A… Who knows, Singapore’a traffic condition is turning into such.

Argh…!!!! Plus hot weather.. Bless my soul.

It’s just one of those days..

The 10 Big No-Nos in 2012

New Year Resolutions? I am still working on it. At the same time, I thought about the things that I shouldn’t do to myself and hence the list of The Big No-Nos in 2012!

1. No more going to bed without removing my make-up fully!

For the past years, I thought the make-up remover wasn’t working well till a month ago did I realize, I was using it wrongly!

I am terribly sorry Biore, you've been wronged!

I remember I was so frustrated that I cleansed my face with make-up remover sheet and the oil afterwards. A month ago, my sister told me I am supposed to massage the oil onto my face and then add a little bit of water for it to emulsify before I rinse my face with water.  DUH!

2. No harsh rubbing when cleansing or applying make up on my face

My dear Mum has been telling me that ever since I started washing my face and I didn’t bother till age caught up with me. Last year, saw a crease forming beside my right brow. Can you imagine the HORROR? That prompted me to use Loreal Revitalift Eye Cream to reverse whatever damage I have done to my face.

Awesome Stuff!

3. No Frowning!

Other than the obvious fact that it causes wrinkles, I really frown too much! I frown when I am sleeping, thinking, day dreaming or even when I have nothing to do! And I get slight headache after frowning. RELAX GIRL!

4. No more Weight Gain after losing that weight!

This probably encompass another list of big No-Nos, namely

• No more eating after 8pm which is super hard because of the nature of my work
• No Instant noodles
• No more feeder bus to Gombak Station, WALK IT GIRL!

Now that I have sorted all these ‘shallow’ issues, it’s time to tackle some real life problems!

5. Speak NO Evil

I’ve been trapped in difficult position where I can’t take sides because of common friends! When listening to both sides, it takes a lot of discipline and wisdom to say the right stuff. Hence, SAY NO EVIL. I’ve been burned a few times before but thankfully matters didn’t blow up.

ALSO! No expressing frustrating thoughts about a friend on facebook. The only one time I did that – I had 48 comments on that status. Boy.. it was scary!

6. Lesser Cabs (No is kind of hard!)

With the recent fare adjustment, I am not taking cabs as often because it’s just too expensive. With careful planning, I can avoid those street money suckers.

7. No settling on Second Best

I feel this principal applies in all aspects.

For example, shopping (especially last minute shopping)

Because of time, lack or plain laziness, we purchase an an item that requires us to practice cognitive dissonance by justifying the act of buying that item. I’ve learnt, after burning my pocket a few times, never buy something that needs any form of persuasion. To achieve that, I try not to do any last minute shopping.

The same applies in career and relationships as well. Approaching quarter life (turning 24 in a month’s time), I should have enough experiences to tell me what’s good for me and what’s second best. I’ve learnt how not to trap myself in a second best friendship that exists for the sake of taking advantage of me. And I’ve also learnt how to let go of things that are just not working.

But of course, not taking it to the other extreme and be picky or even passive while waiting. A balance of stepping stone, working hard and making right choices.

8. Minimize Rushing

My busy schedule affects my relationships. People think I am unapproachable because I am always rushing from one place to another.

I do put in effort to meet people but my heart aches when they tell me, be it patronizing or just a passing remark, that they feel bad for interrupting my schedule.

Janice… got to improve on that!

9. No more envying and comparing

This is pure torment and a self-inflicted one! I don’t usually display or express it but I do compare and I do envy.

Why can’t I be like him/her… I cannot never match up..

Oh Boy… It’s unhealthy to think this way. I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God with such carefulness, precision and distinctiveness that should not allow me to love myself lesser.

10. Lesser Black (NO is impossible)

I love Black… Black dress, top, shoes, bags, accessories, eye-shadow everything. I would have included blue if I look good in it but I don’t. And I dress in the shades of Black, Grey and White..

My Mum once made a comment about my wardrobe – it’s as if I am ready for a funeral wake at any time.

Alright.. I know I know.. I included two Maroon and Purple last year. I promise more this year!

Yup, this is the list of the Big NO-NOs in 2012!

Sometimes we focus so much on what we have to achieve and neglect those painful lessons on what to avoid. I am smarter this year already!

Thankful

Haven’t written anything for the past 2 months! I saved a few drafts but never really got to publish them. Oh well..

2011 was bittersweet, pleasant and exciting. I learnt and experienced new things.

I had the opportunity to go Los Angeles and did stuff that I probably would not get to do in Singapore for the next 1-2 years. I traveled quite a bit. Formed new friendships and strengthened some existing ones. Stepped out of my comfort zone – couch surfed, conquered Sedona with Regina Tan. Re-visited the feeling of uncertainty after graduation but am thankful that I am not in lack.

I overestimated myself and hence learnt not to take one step before God. I was broken and I recovered. I took certain things for granted but I learnt how to treasure them again. I forgot who I was momentarily but God brought me back.

I hope all these encounters will make Janice more mature and wiser in 2012.

Here’s to a great 2012!